Mental Nutrition Digest

Welcome to Mental Nutrition Digest - an ezine dedicated to exploring practical applications of the sense-making process. That is, how people interpret their experience, decide what it means, and then act on that meaning.

Mental Nutrition Digest provides articles about mind and language practices that are vital for wise insight, elegant influence and quality connections with people. Applications include: Leadership, Interpersonal Communication, Influencing and persuading, Wellbeing, Confidence building, Employability and Money Sense.

You'll find a Privacy, Copyright and Disclaimer Statement at the end of this ezine.

Issue #34

In this edition:

• The downside of emphasising differences
• Personal business labels - lessons from Kerry Packer
• Feeding the mind for fruitful results
• What's new?

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Welcome to the first edition for 2006. This year the focus is on two areas of sense-making:

• Making sense of people
• Making sense of your business.

In exploring these themes we'll look at mind and language practices that help you to think flexibly and speak confidently. You'll become more skilled at managing meaning so you can influence, persuade, and make quality connections with people.

One of the paradoxes of our time is that there is an over-supply of information yet an under-supply of quality communication that connects people. We have many ways to contact people yet interpersonal skills seem to be in decline.

Understanding how people make sense of things and applying mind and language practices add to your repertoire to achieve fruitful results in 2006.

You can share this newsletter with colleagues and friends by either forwarding the whole newsletter or extracting an article for inclusion in other material, such as your newsletter, with the acknowledgement:

� Dr Ann Villiers, Mental Nutritionist�, www.mentalnutrition.com

The downside of emphasising differences

There's been a spate of books, speakers and training programs drawing our attention to how we all differ from each other, particularly by generation. So different are we that baby boomers are bound to strike problems with generation X, Y and Z. One wonders, what generation comes after Z or is this the end of the line?

Gender differences have also been a big money-spinner. Encouraging us to think we live on separate planets is the flavour of much of this work.

We are now seeing more attention drawn to differences based on religion, appearance and culture.

The downside of emphasising all these differences is six-fold.

• We overlook what we have in common. All people are humans first sharing much in common. Humans are already programmed to see difference. We notice what's not right, what doesn't fit, how things differ, how we are separate from each other. We then assess the differences as either positive or negative. More often than not we opt for bad or undesirable.

• Emphasising differences puts us on alert. How is this person going to threaten my view of the world? This is bound to turn people away.

• Thinking in terms of fixed categories drives our expectations. 'They're from generation Y, so they will behave in a certain way.' Maybe they won't.

• It's an easy slide to see these categories as fixed. Categories are only meanings created by someone to try to make sense of the world and its diversity. We need to be vigilant in seeing these categories as hypotheses about what is going on. They need to be constantly tested by observing, questioning, checking evidence.

• Seeing the world as a threatening place makes us inflexible in order to protect ourselves.

• There's a danger the label will be used to denigrate or diminish - 'Oh well that explains it - she's a baby boomer!' Nothing else.

As Dorothy Rowe points out in her insightful book 'Friends & Enemies', the only remedy for misunderstanding is to talk. To discover how we are similar and how we differ we have to talk.

Questions we need to explore to understand other people:

• How does that person see themselves and their world?
• What do they see as a threat to their view of the world?
• What are they doing to keep that view safe, held together? (Based on Rowe, 2000 p. 482)

Yes it's useful to know how people of different ages, eras, backgrounds differ in their thinking, expectations, values. But in times of interpersonal tension we need to start from what we share, hold in common, agree on. We are made of many parts, not fixed by single categories.

Personal business labels - lessons from Kerry Packer

What labels are you using to define who you are and what you do?

No matter what business you're in or career path you travel, how you define yourself will either sabotage or support your journey.

Introducing yourself as 'only a .' or 'just a .' sends a clear message that you don't value what you do.

The labels you use to define what you do can confuse or enlighten. Terms like advisor, broker, consultant can start to blur due to overuse.

In making sense of your business one factor to consider is how you define yourself to you. How do you think about yourself? You will already carry some labels, either chosen or imposed. Now is a good time to reconsider the labels you use to make sure they are not sabotaging your confidence and the impression you create with customers and clients.

Comparisons can be useful for choosing labels. Looking to what others have done is one way to assess how we are doing.

Too often though, the comparison can be inappropriate. Australians are inundated with opportunities to compare with US models. How many times do we hear names like Bill Gates, Ray Krock, Jack Welch, offered as role models? Occasionally we might hear a British name (Richard Branson) or a European name (Jan Carlzon). Even more rare is an Asian name. Almost as rare, an Australian name.

Following his death, we've been exposed to a wealth of labels for Kerry Packer. Consider the labels used for this businessman:

Larger than life; fierce competitor; formidable; large and loud; inspired fear and loyalty; belligerent; colossus; media baron; hard nosed; tycoon; magnate; master tactician; shrewd operator; unpredictable; brilliant; ruthless; loyal; cavalier; relentless; unpredictable; generous; connoisseur of the ordinary; charming; irreverent; driven; rough diamond; titan; a giant; common touch; patriotic; canny political operator; business warrior; warm; lovable; a decent human being.

Which of these would you want used to describe you? Are they part of your current labels? Would you describe yourself as 'driven'? Would passionate suit you better? Dedicated perhaps? Even committed? These are strong words. Being weak about your business isn't going to serve you well.

While considering the labels used for others is useful, we must choose our own labels. Choose them wisely. They'll affect how you think about yourself and present yourself to the world.

Two labels often used for Kerry Packer bear closer thought.

'adored his family' "I want them to know only one thing - that I adore them. I'd do anything for them and they know that." Kerry on his children

'knew how to live life' "If you want to envy Kerry Packer, be jealous instead of his lust for life." Greg Norman, Special Tribute Issue, The Bulletin, Jan. 4 2006

Feeding the mind for fruitful results

Accept that some things just don't make sense.

What's new?

• Just-in-time e-learning. Writing to selection criteria mini course.

You've no idea what selection criteria are nor what to do with them. Or .

You've figured out that selection criteria are important and had a go at writing to them, but not got past first base.

Either way, this mini course is for you. Visit www.mentalnutrition.com/selectioncriteria

• Teleseminars on selection criteria and job interviews are now available. Visit www.mentalnutrition.com/selectioncriteria for details.

Dr Villiers' Mental Nutrition� keynote and workshop topics include:

• Job Application Mastery - Applying sense-making to job applications and interviews
• Work/Life Wellbeing - Using sense-making to reduce stress and enhance wellbeing
• Influencing - Mind and language strategies to persuade and build cooperation

Wishing you fruitful sense-making and please keep asking 'What am I feeding my mind today'?

Ann Villiers, Australia's Mental Nutritionist�

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For more information, visit our web site: www.mentalnutrition.com